I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
