it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
