Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
