lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
