Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
