he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
