well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
