i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
