Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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