it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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