Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
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