Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
