Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
