Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
