yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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