Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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