I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
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