i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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