i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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