Having a random hookup so left but love u
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
