i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
