I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
