Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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