i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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