Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
