wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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