Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
