Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
