I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
