WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
