Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
