yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Randomize
