i think my mom watched the whole time
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
