my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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