i think my mom watched the whole time
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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