Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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