the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
