Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
