she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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