Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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