it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
