Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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