all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
