Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
