I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Randomize
