how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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