direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
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