but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
