Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
