why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Randomize
