I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
